New One (in the making)

“I saw her today.” She looks solum at her friend, “she was right in front of me.”

“Alex.” His warning tone is evident and exasperated.

“I know. I know.”

“You cannot do this again.”

A Little Something New

In 2018, I moved to the City. It was an exciting adventure and I made a point of looking at some activities I might be able to do while living here. Things that had often crossed my mind but were unattainable while living in the village I was raised.

Some things were an exciting thought, put off until later because of being in an unknown area and some were done, accomplished with delight.

Pole dancing – a way to keep fit while having fun… Last year, I had not known the area, it was too far away, it was something to keep in mind for a later time.

A LATER TIME

I tried something new, I socialised and became aware of where the location of the pole dancers were. I went, I tried, I left.

6 fundamental pole dancing lessons signed up for – 3 lessons achieved. While the first lesson had been fun, something different. The following 2 lessons were less so. I did not enjoy them as much as my initial lesson, this was not for me.

But I tried.

November was a month of trying.

I Wished For You, Too

The years have been hard,
A dullness, a dark room without any light.

Hands always stretching out ahead, chasing,
Everything always just out of reach.

I thought of you when I needed some colour in the darkness,
A flash of hope, of what I might one day find.

I always had you in the back of my mind, a faceless silhouette,
An imaginary hand to hold, someone to have my back.

Always a hope, an imaginary person who could never exist,
A mind broken and unrepairable, always wanting the impossible.

A decade later and I found ways to light up my own self,
Ways to heal my own soul.

My imaginary person no longer a hope to be held onto,
A dream lost, acceptance and independence taking its place.

A few more years come to pass,
A complete loss of hope, of self.

A change of scenery,
A new found freedom, new beginnings.

A new person,
Appearing out of nowhere, a shock to the system.

Like a breath of fresh air, a sudden cold shower,
Life was no longer just a dim light, colours were returning.

So many words, positive and freeing,
Butterflies and rainbows and everything else in between.

Nights spent talking, sharing,
Happiness no longer seemingly out of reach.

Fate always finds a way,
Destiny, it seems, cannot be avoided.