Day 10

And then she wailed. The birds, who had previously been singing their eve song, closed their beaks. Even they knew this was no longer the time. The air stilled and a respectful, unsure tension overcame the earth. A wail that was so powerful it stilled every nation could surely only come from an unbearable, unspeakable pain.

Bird Box

220px-bird_box_(film)( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bird_Box_(film) )

I was late to the party, guys. I had such high hopes for this new Sandra Bullock and Sarah Paulson film that I put off watching it once I heard people’s bad reviews.

However, I finally watched it. As a means of distraction from a terrible day.

I watched it with my mum and fended off questions of “Why are they in a boat? Are they prisoners? Why are they ALL blindfolded?” with the answer, “I don’t know.” While genuinely not knowing why they were in a boat or why they were blindfolded. All I knew was what I had seen in the trailer
( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPWMBITCudM ) and what I had heard other’s speak of.

I had heard people say, “they made it look better than it actually is” and “such and such a film is pretty much the exact same but done better.”

I liked it. I cannot say it is the best Sandra Bullock film ever made but I enjoyed it and the part she played was flawless.

I do feel the trailer was misleading in regards to the role of Sarah Paulson’s character  – I would have liked her to be in it a lot longer than she actually was.

46800438_390787938334504_4493971126736650240_n( https://www.picbon.com/tag/AHScrossover )

The general premise for Bird Box is something that I do feel has been done before. The Fog, The Thing and The Mist are what spring to my mind, however, I am sure there are more recent variations.

I found Bird Box to be watchable and enjoyable. I was entertained, I did not get bored and start hoping for the end (which happens a lot with me).

I think some people are maybe a little harsh with their words.

Perhaps my being a huge fan of both Sandra and Sarah makes me biased, but I enjoyed it and I would definitely watch it again.

 

 

 

Make those Choices

Take a breath,
Wear that dress, that top.

Change your shoes,
Put on those heels.

Straighten your posture,
Raise your head to look them in the eye.

Choose what you want,
Ignore the voices that tell you differently, that shame you.

Embrace your difference,
Choose to change what you aren’t comfortable with.

Make those changes.
Make those choices.

The only person’s opinion that matters

is yours.

 

C

Listen

“You want me to speak? You want to hear my voice? Then listen to me. I’m a subtle person, I ain’t about to start shouting just so my voice rises above yours. You want to hear what I want to say, you gotta shut up for a second and listen to me.”

-JustMe

Sheila Jackson

Screen-Shot-2018-03-15-at-3.55.51-PM
Maggie O’Neill – Sheila Jackson
( http://www.kiwireport.com/cast-shameless-uk-like-now/ )

In (approximately) 2006 a friend came to me, “Have you seen Shameless? It’s brilliant. I love it. There’s someone in it who is agoraphobic, like you!” They leant me the DVD’s – I watched a couple of episodes…

“This is not agoraphobia.”
“Is this meant to be how agoraphobia is? Am I even doing this wrong?”
“What is this?”
“I don’t want to ever see this again.”

I never watched it again. It made me feel sick. I was so angry and so depressed. I should have very clearly been able to relate to this.

My friends are watching this. Is this what they think my life is now?

Even now, googling “Shelia Jackson UK agoraphobia” comes up with nothing but references to the character’s sexual ‘deviances’.

 

 

joan-cusack-shameless-tv-2011-photo-GC
Joan Cusack – Sheila Jackson
( http://www.snakkle.com/galleries/before-they-were-famous-stars-happy-birthday-actress-joan-cusack-snakkle-looks-back-on-her-career-in-photos-then-and-now/joan-cusack-shameless-tv-2011-photo-gc/ )

I have Netflix – Netflix provides me with the knowledge that Shameless was turned into an American show…

“Holy shit!”
“Oh.”
“I don’t know if I can watch this.”
“This is it! This is what it was! This was me!”

Never in my life have I been so pleased to find a show that represents me. There is humour, there is sex but the moments of this character’s struggle are so brutally honest that I sometimes cannot look. It is amazing.

I am also aware as I consider this, that each person will have their own experiences with such illnesses. I am aware that the UK Shameless had a large following and was adored.

American shows sometimes get the reputation in England of being overly dramatic, leading to me being unsure as to whether to tune in, to begin with. I had expected it to be extremely over the top and while it may be the case in later episodes (I’m not there yet), this character portrayed by Joan Cusack is a breath of fresh air.

It can be so difficult to find someone within TV/film who you see yourself in when you’re an unboxed member of society.

I am thankful that I found this, my 15-year-old self rejoices. Loudly.

Trying something new

Prompt:
“Why are you glaring at me?”
“I’m hoping you’ll spontaneously combust.”

 

“…I’ve had a bit of a shit year. I got divorced.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“I’m not. Bastard cheated.”

As she approaches the group, she slows down to debate whether to keep on walking silently or pause to exchange polite chit-chat. Hearing the conversation topic, her eyes narrow. The woman, well known to her, makes eye contact. There is a smile on the woman’s face that fades once she realises it is not returned, “You okay, love?”

The girl tilts her head briefly to one side, “Yeah, fine.”

“Why you glaring at me?” is asked with a humorous snicker, “ya know, if the wind changes, it’ll stay like that.”

“Maybe that’s just my face.”

The group dissolves into laughter, assuming the conversation is in jest. As if by unconscious consensus, the group starts to walk towards the centre of town.

The woman slows, walking towards the girl, “You’re still glaring at me. Why?”

“I’m hoping you’ll spontaneously combust.” The response is said so sarcastically it causes pause, the woman startled by the harshness of the words, “Dave left you?” the girl stands her ground, maintaining eye contact as she asks the question.

She spits out a defensive response, “I left him. He cheated!”

“Wasn’t he married to someone else when you met him? You were the other woman, right?”

“What’s tha…”

“And you and Paul, you know each other quite well, right? Despite the fact that he’s been in a relationship with a friend of yours for the last decade…”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, hun.” The woman states, eyes lowing to the floor.

“Well… I’m just pointing out the fact that criticising someone for being the other woman when you have been in that position yourself, and continue to be in that position despite recent events and despite the fact that Paul’s partner is a ‘friend’ of yours… it kinda makes you sound like a hypocrite”

“Don’t shit stir. You’ll only end up hurting her.”

“Oh, she already knows. You don’t honestly think she wouldn’t?”

A defeated sigh leaves the woman, shoulders slumped, “Look, hun…”

The girl jumps in, interrupting the woman for the second time in as many minutes, “I’m just saying what everyone else is no doubt thinking. Only difference is, I dislike you just enough to voice it.” The girl walks closer, a hairs breath between them, “She deserves better. Paul is Paul, no one would be shocked to hear he has a wondering eye. It’s the fact that you call yourself her friend that gets me. That’s kind of the lowest blow. The kind that’s deserving of being glared at. In my opinion.”

 

~Just Me~

Viola

( https://pin.it/qgehj664vdtrek )70fc68c5017fe421306ead0bf81a84a2

Viola Davis
Born in South Carolina in 1965, raised in Rhode Island.
Viola is married and has a daughter.
Viola studied at Juilliard.
Viola has a theatre degree, achieved in 1988.
( http://www.violadavis.net )

In what has become my favourite scene in How to Get Away with Murder, Viola as Annalise Keating, takes off her wig and make-up. My first uncensored thought when I saw this scene was, ‘Wow, she is beautiful.’
I have always been a woman who loved other women and their natural beauty. I have never been a person who wears make-up and I often see people who are terrified to go without it but who look astonishing bare faced. My view did not change when I saw this clip ( Make-up scene ).

“I’m claiming it. I’m a woman. I like to see women on TV. I like to see real women on TV. That for me is what’s inspiring and that for me is exciting. When I see an archetype of womanhood on TV, it depresses me.”
( http://ew.com/article/2015/02/02/viola-davis-essence-interview/ )